You know how I spoke about Update….Helped one Condition….Hurt the other 😦 and the issues i am not having with Pelvic Congestion Syndrome? Well today I had an experience which told me I have not been doing too well introducing the elephant.
I actually said to my colleagues “ignore me”.
I am doing training in a CVQ- Caribbean Vocational Qualification. Elsewhere in the world they’re termed NVQ- National Vocational Qualification or some variation of that. This training requires that I sit for 4 hours straight with just one 15 minute break about halfway through. Problems!
I cannot really sit for 45-60 minutes without having to change position, stand, walk around a bit. Well actually I can but my legs would have to be elevated or I would have to at least be wearing the compression stockings/ leggings.
Did I mention that one pair of those cost over $100. Anyway, I did order a few but they haven’t arrived as yet. Since I am 5′ 10″, those available here were just too short so I am waiting on them to arrive.
In this conference room setting with a group of people I have just met for the most part, its sit at the table and write/ listen. There’s no foot rest or extra chair for elevation like in my office……even if there were….this is a new group.
So, I intentionally sat at the back of the room so that I would be able to at least stand every 40 minutes or so without having to walk the length of the room and disturb others.
Well, that didn’t work. Every-time I stood, everything stopped and all eyes were on me. “Do you have a question/ comment?” “Are you ok?” The questions came.
In my head I was thinking, what can I actually say to these people? I said “just ignore me”; but is that what I want? Do I want them to know why I am standing? Then I thought I have to introduce the elephant next training day.
Question is though, what parts of the elephant? How much of the elephant?
This is the dilemma many of us with chronic pain face. We don’t want to stand out, we would rather just blend in most of the time. However, that is hardly possible the majority of the time. Then we don’t want to be the focus of attention and be fielding questions and comments but how can we avoid it.
How do we give enough information for understanding but not too much to create “oh how sad/ wow so sorry/ oh no”. Where is the balance found?
I have no idea, I just know the elephant is in the room and it makes no sense acting as though it is not. I will just have to find a way to introduce 2 chronic pain conditions and still be a part of the group who is treated like everyone else and viewed like everyone else.
I’ve got a few days to figure it out….sigh!