Update….Helped one Condition….Hurt the other :(

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Life has been really interesting since my last post. I’ve been somewhat stressed to the point where I wasn’t letting anyone in. I felt as if I was losing grasp on everything and chose to take some time to regroup.

In the midst of this time I had the most unnerving experience. The pic above is my left foot. As you can see the veins are all popping. Truth be told this is minimal to what actually took place.

I could see all my veins right up my calves, up my legs and across my pelvis. When I saw this happening I knew that those inside my pelvis must be huge! That’s not all, I was in the most incredible pain I have had since having surgery.

Apparently, dealing with the Endometriosis has caused me some issues with the Pelvic Congestion Syndrome ;(

The adhesions which has everything in my pelvis stuck together and were causing me intense pain were also holding the veins in my pelvis (like bands) and constricting them/ restricting the amount of blood that could flow into them. Removing the adhesions has helped to reduce the sharp everyday pain that I was experiencing but has also freed the veins and they now exist without constriction.

Therefore, the veins can now have the maximum amount of blood pooled inside- thanks to the faulty valves…….

Doc says I have to return to the Daflon- meds for  venous conditions; in order to work on the veins all together and reduce the varicosities.  I most likely will have to wear prescription grade compression stockings everyday to work as well. Doc says the maternity ones that will come right up to just below my breasts 😦

So it truly is like a Chronic Illness See-Saw…. 1 Step Forward….2 Steps Back. I had an intervention to help in one area but because that area was the focus and not all two, that intervention has created an issue with the second area. We worked on the Endometriosis and now the Pelvic Congestion Syndrome is in full swing.

What now? More research- I’ve been doing quite a bit and will share in my next post; more treatment; more medication; more trial and error?

I guess this is what happens when we treat one when there are two to be considered.

Thankfully, my time of reflection has placed me in a pretty good frame of mind. I’m in a good space right now. Hopefully, it will last.

Truth is, it could be worse……….so much worse.

I remain thankful for each blessing amid this storm.

 

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The Measure of Success

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How do we measure success? How do I measure the success of the surgery? Is it an all or nothing thing?

This morning I awoke feeling crampy and aching all over. I’ve got pain on the right just around the ovary and my brain is kinda fuzzy. Feels like PMS………well in my case PNothingS. Great! Just wonderful!

Honestly, from Friday I was feeling like my hormones were getting wacky. I decided to adopt a wait and see attitude. I don’t know about others but after gynae surgery my cycling goes haywire and takes some time to settle down. According to my charting before the op, I should have ovulated last week. Obviously with all the organ handling, separating and removal on May 10, I was still in post op pain and mode last week. I now need to start charting again to establish what the cycle will be.

So, what does this pain today mean? As I am writing here I have already taken some meds and the pain is between 6 and 7…………livable/ doable. Does this mean that the surgery was not successful?

I think its too early to even think that. Things need to heal first before I can truly assess the pain. Even then, if the pain levels are still as they were before does that mean no success?

I’ve thought about this, spent a lot of time on it actually. I would say no; success is not as cut and dry as pain before surgery/ no pain after surgery OR horrible pain before surgery/ less pain after surgery. I think I should look at the little things, small progresses made and see how they add up as opposed to looking for the drastic change.

So far I’ve noted success in:

  • Bowel function- I can have a BM now without intense pain, stretching and cramping and having to move from bathroom to bed and stay there for at least half an hour before I go anywhere or do anything.
  • Sleep- I am sleeping more now that being awake throughout the night from pain. I still need to wake up to empty my bladder but for the most part I can sleep.
  • All day pain- previous to the surgery I was in pain all day long. Up until today that was not the case since the op. There is pain yes but not consistently throughout the day. It will take me some weeks to work through what is happening now and see if the pain has reverted to mainly cyclical and minimal in between.
  • Mental State- the impact that chronic pain has on mental health should never be discounted. Previous to the surgery, the flare I was in had lasted so long that I was really down in the dumps. I smiled and did what I had to/ what I could to fulfill my various roles but beneath it all I was seriously struggling mentally. Right now I am in a better mental space. Partly because of the improvements  I mentioned above and also because I was able to get some questions answered by having the procedure i.e what was stuck to what, where the growths were etc. So no matter what happens going forward at least I start from a more stable space.

Each of these things is major in its own right. Each one was a source of worry for me before the op and contributed to my overall disposition. The improvement equals success to me. I claim the small victories.

If we continue to look for the big earth shattering changes, most times we miss the small but significant ones.

Yes, I’m in pain today. It may continue for a few hours or a few days I have no idea. What’s good though is that I am in a better place to deal with it now. That’s success.

As the quote above says, this is a storm that I am in. I don’t know how I get through most times (actually I do………it’s all God) and I have no idea if it is over or when it will be over. However, the one thing I do know is that when it is over/ when it wanes before picking up again I can see my growth. I can see how I have developed and how I have become stronger. The person I was going in is not the same person coming out.

This to me is success!