Test and Adjust




I had an intern once who constantly said “test and adjust”; when she said it I took it to mean whenever there is something new/ unexpected/ unwelcomed in our lives we test it so that we can learn and then we adjust to suit. It makes no sense complaining/ worrying/ fighting the change……………………learn and adjust…………change is constant.

I don’t know……… I’m tired of adjusting.

It seems like I am constantly adjusting, even before I can adequately adjust to one change along comes another and I am scrambling to deal with something else. The weeks since my last post have been one adjustment after another.

My GI issues have settled somewhat because I have made some additional diet changes. We believe that I do not have IBS, rather fructose malabsorption. I don’t know why and honestly I can’t be bothered about it ……well the reason behind it………..right now. I can no longer absorb fructose. This brings symptoms similar to IBS.  I have basically been testing and adjusting my diet. I cut out the recommended high fructose foods and reintroduced them alone one by one to gauge the effects on my body. I have been able to identify those foods that trigger my symptoms. I’m still working on this.

My allergies and sensitivities have also been heightened. Before, I could still have a little gluten every once in a while. I shouldn’t but I could and not have any reaction. Now I cannot do that. I must have and maintain the completely gluten free diet. Even grains that I could previously have, I can no longer eat. I developed a reaction to corn when I could previously use it without issue. Actually I think its the type of corn. I have reactions to taco shells and cereal that is imported but if I use corn meal or corn flour made here I am ok thus far.

My energy levels have improved but are still low compared to where I need them to be. I find it difficult to go an entire day without getting exhausted. This has been really put to the test this week. I am having an annual camp I host with a colleague. Its constant going, standing, talking and work from 8:30 – around 3:30 each day. Its too much for me, makes me worry about returning to work in September………work is quite similar. Today I just had to stop and put my feet up.

On the topic of feet……………I started wearing the compression stockings. They help tremendously. They take a bit of getting used to but the support is amazing. The only thing is that Barbados is hot…………and its summer 😦 Its an exercise in perseverance to deal with them and the heat. Still I have no choice. If I got so tired and my legs hurt so much with them on I definitely would not have been able to do half as much without them.

I’m also adjusting to losing/ rather deciding that some friendships I have are at an end. One in particular, I have been friends with the individual for over 15 year. I explained to the individual the challenges I was having with Pelvic Congestion and Endometriosis and how it was impacting my life. There was absolutely no response, no empathy or sympathy………….absolutely nothing. This person then went on to discount my discomfort in their presence, acted as if I they had no knowledge of my illness. As much as I accept that the friendship is over, I have yet to speak to the person and it still hurts.

So much more going on in my life and all around. Testing and adjusting is difficult………but its necessary…………I just wish it easier:(




































30 Day Chronic Illness Challenge- Day 4

How have your friends and family reacted to it?

Family- Let me separate family into my immediate family- hubby and children- and my relatives.

My immediate family is saddened by my illness for the most part and wish that I will get some relief. Like me they are happy when I get a day, dare I say a week without high levels of pain. As young as the children are they try to do all they can to help and prevent my being in pain.

There are days, weeks, moments where they have had enough and lash out at the situation…..not necessarily me. I get frustrated myself and lash out so when they do I just see it for what it is and don’t take it personally.

My relatives are for the most part uninformed. they know the various effects of the illnesses, the types of surgeries I had but to be able to explain what exactly is going on……I don’t think most of them can.

This is in part because I have not taken the time to really explain everything to them and partly because they never asked. My socialization was never to talk out issues and really thrash out problems. I wasn’t raised to share the intimate details of my life with anyone. So although this is a practice I now keep in my immediate circle I don’t hold it against them…….That’s how they are. If I need them they will be there.


Friends- I have few. Initially, people didn’t believe me. Since the illnesses are both invisible and I look just great to those looking on; I would get remarks like “I didn’t know it was that bad” or “you really can’t handle pain though”.

Since I have started this journey I have lost a few good acquaintances, but the few friends I have are still here. For the most part, they are supportive but the frustration with my not participating in activities and not baring my soul all the time is seen.

I think though that they do the best they can with what they understand.

Whether family, relatives of friends though…..I have explained to those who asked and try wherever possible to be honest with those who continue to be there for me and show an interest.

In any case it isn’t easy on the outside looking in……………neither is it easy on the inside looking out.