Painsomnia x 10

03ee38f1975521f2744a718f7a3dc10aWhat I would give for a good night’s sleep!

These past few days have exceeded my expectations once again as far as the levels of pain and challenges I have experienced goes.

Last week I had this delusion (will have to call it that now because that’s apparently what it was) that I was going to be able to just set this house/ life in order in prep for my surgery on Wednesday May 10. Well I wrote what happened on Wednesday last week in Thankful for friends who stay.

I never mentioned the blacking out from the pain- good thing I was in bed. Neither did I write about the doctor coming to the house on Thursday and setting up the IV- I was at my wits end- actually I haven’t said much because it has just been too much for me.

Since Thursday I have gone to bed each night with the absolute maximum amount of pain meds in my system that I am allowed outside of a controlled environment like the hospital. Each night I have tossed and turned. Hubby says I was groaning- I’m not even conscious of that. The pain has been just constant.

Really, in the dead of night, there’s not much that can be done. Well, that’s not completely true; there’s loads I could do if I were  not in pain. I can’t exactly engage hubby in conversation …or anyone else for that matter. Most people are asleep. To be honest though, even if there was someone to talk to I probably won’t want to talk anyway.

So I tossed and turned; sat up in bed; sat on the end of the bed; got water; sat in the chair; went from side to back to tummy to side…..just made it through the night with little snippets of sleep.

While all this was going on I was wondering how many others are out there just tossing and turning and praying for morning to come?

I decided to look at it this way: This is the last pain before the ease that will come with the surgery. I fully believe that life will be better after.

So, on Wednesday I go in for an operative laparoscopy. The intent is to deal with adhesions- separate the ovary from the bowel, excise endometriosis, deal with the cysts in the ovaries and remove them if need be. Time will tell what actually is done.

I look forward to the sleep, a full nights sleep.

This is my last post until sometime thereafter when I am able to sit up enough to type. Until then I keep on keeping on and continue believing that just as my sleep is around the corner, so is morning.

Joy comes in the morning!



Author: mypcslife

I am a Psychologist by profession, wife and mother. Living in the Caribbean island of Barbados.

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