This morning I woke with the kitchen floor on my mind. My tiles are white – huge mistake- everything is magnified by them, the slightest mark is seen ten times larger because of the white background.
Anyway, I decided that I was going to mop the floor, first I had to sweep it.
Sidebar- since the embolization in 2016 I can probably count the number of times I have mopped that floor…any floor in the house….on one hand. The house has been swept and mopped yes but not by me. Even before that procedure and definitely after I find the action of sweeping and/ mopping to be extremely painful. Something about the angle of pushing or pulling the tool causes me severe, undeniable, cannot be ignored pain.
Anyway, only my son and I were awake. The entire family has been doing some cleaning and tidying these past days so he had his chores already set out.
The only way that I am able to sweep or mop and actually complete the job is to do it while sitting. I was trying to find a picture to adequately represent this but alas there was none.
I asked my son to bring the mop bucket, the broom, the mop and the scrub brush on a stick for me. He helped me to get the water in the bucket and get it back on the floor. then it began.
I sat on a stool and swept one section after the next and then deposited the dust into the bin. Then I took the mop and sprinkled water on one section at a time. If there was need to scrub any stuck item off that section I took the brush and scrubbed, then mopped off the area. Pushed the bucket backward or in whatever direction I needed and the same with the stool on which I sat.
The entire activity took me about 40 minutes. Then I just sat on the stool and waited until the floor dried. My son emptied the bucket, washed the mop and scrub brush and I returned them to their storage spaces.
No, it was not pain free…..minimal pain it was….and I got it done. I was happy, but exhausted. Seriously, exhausted!
I had my breakfast, took a shower and then went back to bed to rest a bit.
Now, I know many people out there are like some of my friends who would ask why I didn’t let hubby or the children do it. As I have stated so many times they can’t do everything. More importantly though I don’t want to be the family member who is constantly asking or needing people to do every single thing. True, I may not be able at this point to do things like before. I may not be able to do what I want and how I want but I can still do.
I am an independent gal. I will do what I can, when I can. This is the reason that sometimes I cook and do all the prep sitting where before I would do it all standing. I also do dishes sitting sometimes…another activity usually done standing. Sitting takes me longer and the level of productivity or rather the speed is not the same as standing but I get the job done.
If I never said, someone coming into the house and tasting the food or looking at the dishes or the floor would never know that the process was different. The outcome is the same. It was done and done well.
Having chronic pain does not make me any less capable. It causes me to think and do outside the proverbial box of the established. I can decide I cannot do something and give up or I can find a way to get it done and move on.
I choose to move on.
It’s this that pushes me every day to continue reaching and striving. I may have to rest more often; some things may cause me pain but I push. My dreams and hopes are not built on shaky ground. I believe that with God all is possible, even in the midst of chronic illness and pain. My process will be different, my path may be longer and more complicated but I will get there.
So, to all those of us who sit and cook, do the dishes, sweep and mop. To all those of us who have had to reinvent and redefine and recreate ways to get the day to day done. To all those of us who create a new normal and walk in it. I say: Keep on keeping on!
Don’t ever give up!