Jealous of my illness! What now????


Have you ever had anyone become jealous of your illnesses?

This is the most ridiculous thing to me. From a psychological standpoint I can see how it could happen or how it can be manifested but still its crazy.

When I started this blog, my intention was to do some research. I wanted to find out if there were other people out there who were having the same challenges as I was; especially as it relates to Pelvic Congestion Syndrome. I wanted to find out what others knew and had experienced. I did not anticipate it to be the therapeutic tool that it now is.

From time to time, I would invite people to view the blog and give me their comments. I tell them also to share it with their friends etc. so that the information can be disseminated. It’s not really about them getting information about me but more about raising awareness.

I did such with a group of acquaintances. Most of them read it and acted as though they had not. Don’t know why people do this but I suspect they are unsure of how to respond so choose not to. That’s ok.

Anyway, after I passed the link to this group one person responded immediately, that they were going to read it before bed. About two hours later I checked my messages and to my surprise there was a long rant. This acquaintance started out by saying that because they do not talk about their illnesses does not mean that they are not ill. This does not mean that they are ok. The person went on to explain about the last time they were seen by the group and how they were not well at that time. They went on to speak about being at home from work because of illness and basically ended the rant by saying they are ill too.

It came across as if the person was trying to prove that they were more ill than I was. I was absolutely taken aback. Truth is, I had known that the individual was ill but the extent or details were not known to me. This is a person who refused to accept any help from others even when they were visibly unwell. The group members would treat the individual like all others, no difference at all.

The entire group that read the rant was stunned. I was completely speechless. I wanted to empathize with the individual and acknowledge their challenges. However, all I got coming to me was “you think you are the only one who is ill? I have more problems than you” WOW! This was also the impression the others in the group got as well.

I saw this individual today and that is still the same vibe. All I can think is, how can someone be jealous of my illnesses? Really, is this a thing? Do people do this? I never put my illnesses on display or try to advertise that I am ill. Rather, I act for the most part just like everyone else. I could be in the worst possible pain and go along as if there’s none. I hide it more than I let it show. Not because I am ashamed but because I just want to have a normal life, a normal day, a normal event. I don’t want everything to revolve around me or to be impacted of impacting other negatively. So, I find it challenging to understand this individual’s behaviour.

Then the Psychologist steps in and acknowledges that the behaviour is not about me at all. Its about whatever insecurity or issue that individual is working through or needs to work through. For whatever reason they need to be the one in the spotlight, the one receiving the attention and/ or sympathy. As if there is not enough to go around.

I just never saw someone being jealous of my illnesses as something that I would ever have to deal with. I never even saw it happening. I leave it be though. I think dealing with the illnesses are enough stress. I just leave that individual and all like them to God.


Author: mypcslife

I am a Psychologist by profession, wife and mother. Living in the Caribbean island of Barbados.

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