The Storm Rages

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A few days back I wrote The Calm Before The Storm . In that post I spoke about what was going on in my body, what I was feeling and the gradual decline that I felt taking place.

The calm now has passed and the storm rages. Funny thing is I don’t believe its at full strength.

Over the past seven days things have just gotten worse and worse. I returned to work last week Monday, March 13 and was only able to remain at work for three days. Each day, by afternoon the pain was so intense I could do nothing but lie on my desk and wait until my transportation was ready. Upon arrival at home I went straight to bed and stayed there for a few hours, unable to do anything else.

I have been home since then. In varying degrees of pain.

On Sabbath I took the children to church and to participate in the Global Youth Day activity- where they go out into the community doing acts of kindness for others- and I was in trouble from the time I sat behind the wheel of the car. People may ask why I went although I was in pain but the truth is, I have to try. I have to do things with and for the children, my husband cannot do every single thing all of the time. He has been doing most of everything for a while now. Sometimes he needs a break.

So, I drove them to church and sat in the car propped up on cushions while they went out into the community.

Sidebar- its amazing the number of people who asked me if I was going with them and dropped remarks about it; made comments about my sitting in the car and not in church or just looked at me in a disapproving manner.None of these people asked how I was doing. Only the one or two who were responsible for the activity in which the children were involved inquired of my health. Just another example of how quick we are to judge others.

So, I sat in the car and waited for about 1 1/2 hours until they returned. As soon as they returned I left and returned home to bed. I stayed in bed for the remainder of the afternoon and evening. Hubby took them to the evening activity. Although this is my life, I still have to try to let the children do stuff.

Sunday was horrible. Along with the constant heaviness and dragging pain I also found I was having sharp blinding pain in the right ovary. It drove me to the codiene – which I had decided I was done with- I took both the tramadol and codiene in layers as advised by the doctor. Thankfully, the two together knocked the pain down to 7, which is still not a good level but reduces the probability of me having to go in for urgent care and IV meds. When I took the codiene I literally could not move from the bed but about an hour later I was able to at least go to the bathroom on my own and move from the bed onto the sofa and spend some time with the children.

That has been the story since then. I have been taking both meds and living between 6 and 7 on my pain scale. I have been mainly in bed or at least on the sofa laying down.

My appointment with the surgeon is still days away on March 31st. I am lucky to see him since his office was booked up to July when I took in my referral but still its a long way off.

For now I stay quiet, trusting that God will either calm this storm or calm me but either way I will be ok.

sometimes-god-calms-the-storm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author: mypcslife

I am a Psychologist by profession, wife and mother. Living in the Caribbean island of Barbados.

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