Why do you believe you have this illness? Bad luck? A higher power? Or something else?
I don’t think it’s any of those things. Illness is a part of life here on earth. That’s it as far as I am concerned.
I don’t think it’s a test or something to teach me anything. I do believe though there are lessons that I can learn from the journey and growth that can take place. However, I was not given the illness to teach me a lesson. It’s just a part of life.
We all have a struggle, some illness, some other stuff. Its life; how we handle what comes our way is more important than the thing or event itself as far as I am concerned.
I think though that the illnesses are as bad as they are in my case because of medical decisions I made earlier in life in attempts to deal with the pain. For instance, having the hysterectomy, in retrospect created some challenges. The fact that all the veins etc. that supplied the uterus are tied off now and there is no outlet for the blood rushing in when the hormone levels drop is problematic. This increases the congestion and the avenues in which it can occur.
I think if I had doctors back then who took an integrated approach, maybe things would be better now. I have no malice towards them, I’ve just grown, I’m older and wiser.
So, no there’s no special reason I am ill in my mind beyond the fact that this is a sin cursed earth and illness is a part of it.