What was the biggest realization you have had?
As I look back over my life and all the experiences I have had with chronic illness there are many lessons that I have learned.
The first thing that struck me was how much more difficult life is than I ever anticipated. I really am not sure what I expected but not this. Not to be diagnosed at 16 with one chronic invisible illness and then again at 35 with another………….after years of pain and struggling to find answers.
Certainly, I did not expect to be 38 and still fighting the same war- just different battles.
I’ve had countless moments when I thought that life could get no worse and by the same token would get no better.I’ve been down to the lowest of the low.Flat out on my back and only able to look up but not move.
In each of those moments, someone came by to give me a word of encouragement. Someone let me know they were praying for me. Someone came and cleaned my house. Someone brought us food. Someone helped me through.
This continues even now. The days when I think I can’t go on anymore and want to give up. Someone does or says something to remind me firstly, that I am not alone regardless of how I feel.
More importantly though, I am reminded that “this too shall pass”.
I guess maybe that is not the type of realization that others may have with chronic illness. However, it has been my biggest realization thus far in this battle.
The feeling of hopelessness and helplessness will pass.
The gut wrenching pain that had me on the floor of the doctor’s office will pass.
The fear and doubt and desire to give up, will pass.
I will be OK. I will be able to fight again and go on again and have happy moments with my loved ones and enjoy life.
The pain and sorrow will pass. I just need to hold on.
I am stronger than I think.
This too shall pass! It will get better!