My immediate thought when looking at this question was these illnesses wrecked my life. Then I stopped going down that road and really thought about it.
I decided to look at different aspects of my life and see how it affected each one separately.
Spiritual Life- As a Christian at times it is difficult to not question and get angry with God about this situation. Many times I asked why me Lord? Then I thought why not me? Illness is a part of life and I accept that everything that comes my way God and I can get through together. I just have to remember that. I have hope beyond this realm and it keeps me going, even amidst my tears and break down moments.
My faith has gotten stronger…….no doubt. One song in the lifeboat already.
Physical Life- I was a mover and a shaker. I was always on the move and doing for everybody, my family, my friends, my church. Illness slowed me down considerably. Sometimes I feel like I’m stopped….not moving….not even crawling.
I love to run and I am no longer able to……..at least at this point. Any exercise causes me pain. It is quite frustrating. I now shy away from all physical activity for fear of pain. In many ways this is crippling…..sometimes I say to myself “just go ahead….deal with the pain after”. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.
My body feels different now, like it has lost some of its strength. Yes I am getting older and lack of exercise will change a person but it feels like more than that. Every few months it seems like something else about my body is changing. I don’t know if I can keep up.
Family Life- My family has become accustomed to my illness to the point where they don’t even blink twice if I can’t do something or accompany them on some outing. For the most part they just accept it.
There are times when it gets to the children especially and they have a meltdown but then they recover and try to cherish the good days and picnics in bed as opposed to the park etc. We try as a family but it is hard. My children and my husband do suffer because of my illness.
Social Life- It doesn’t exist. I go to work, church and home. I have very few friends and most if not all time we spend together is at my home. Even then it is short periods of time. I don’t have the energy to socialize; most nights I am in bed very early anyway. I stopped driving at night because of my levels of fatigue….it just wasn’t safe anymore. So social life NIL.
I think all the other aspects of my life will be discussed as the challenge continues. Long story short though, my life is impacted in many ways negatively on a daily basis. So yeah, a shipwreck but I still acknowledge the songs in the lifeboat. At least I am alive and as always things could be worse. I am grateful for it all …….even the wreckage.