He looked at my notes and said “oh you’re a psychologist, you should be good then, you won’t have any problems”. I responded to him “no it’s just Lyn today”.
This was the doctor speaking to me. I am not sure why he would think that my profession has anything to do with whether I have a pain issue or an illness. Maybe it was more about how I deal with it in his mind. I don’t know.
I have found in many other situations people have the perception that I am somehow psychologist all the time. Yes I am a psychologist and that colors the way I think and how I see situations. It influences my responses and how I approach people and issues but it does not define me.
My work does not make dealing with personal illness or issue any easier. It does not somehow reduce the pain I feel when something is awry in my family. It does not help me to cry less when I have a meltdown or keep a sunny disposition. The only thing I can see me doing differently than others is probably seeking help faster/ earlier. I am quick to therapy or to call a colleague and talk it out.
Otherwise I am just like everybody else.
Now if you were in my office with chronic illness or family issues or any challenges that may cause you seek a counsellor I could help you, sure! I could sit with you and work through it with you. In that space I am objective, I am the professional; just what you need me to be. When its me though all that objectivity goes right through the window. I am just Lyn.
You know what that’s ok. You see these moments when I can subjectively experience loss, pain , uncertainty and even all the issues I am now facing with PCS and everything else….it keeps me real. It gives me a level of empathy that otherwise I may not have or may take me longer to achieve. My life informs my work and my work informs my life but when I am not at work I am Lyn.
It would be great if people got this.
It’s just me today.