I’ve been thinking for a while about what it means to be at the start of a new year. What are my expectations? What will happen this year? Am I scared? Am I excited? Am I apprehensive?
I think I am all those things and more.
I don’t believe that all will be smooth sailing and this year will be perfect. I’ve been on this earth too long to believe that.
Here’s what I have found to be true. Just as you learn to to count which prepares you to add, then subtract, then multiply, then divide, so it is with life. Everything that I go through is preparing me for a bigger test. That’s the reality.
So years ago when I thought that my health was at its worse and things could not deteriorate they did. The skills, knowledge and experience gained were of great benefit to me when faced with the next set of challenges.
What I went through in 2016 was rough, no doubt; but I am sure that I was being prepared for more.
So yes I am happy to be alive and to see another year. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned. I am a stronger person now than I was 12 months ago. I am more educated and informed than I was a year ago……..but I am not delusional.
I know that 2017 will have its moments that test my resolve. The situations that test my faith beyond anything I can imagine. I know there will be tears and loss. I know many days I will weep. I also know that once I don’t give up and let go I will get through each situation.
In church I hear all the time “we have nothing to fear for the future except we forget the way that God has led us in the past” Ellen. G. White. This is true. I know that my existence and my ability to move from day to day even in the midst of the deepest darkness is because of God’s Grace.
I walk into 2017 knowing there’s surgery ahead; knowing there’s pain ahead; knowing I will watch those I love cry and be sad. Although I know this, I also know that I will get through it.
I know that God and I together will get through it. So I look to this year with cautious optimism. I have hope and hope is a beautiful thing. I will travel through this year continuing to believe that life will improve. My health will improve. Things will get better.
I will not give up. This disease/ these diseases will not define me. I refuse to let them determine my every move. 2017 will be a good year!