Best Laid Plans…..

bestlaidplansRobert Burns in To a Mouse said “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. Otherwise we are told that if we fail to plan we plan to fail. What happens when you plan but still fail?

The last 24 hours of my vacation were filled with so much pain ……it was a good thing I planned so well……….I think…..Sigh!

I sat with the calendar and carefully planned to eek out 10 days vacation between cycle and ovulation. I had it done well…….if there was ever going to be any “good” days in this month there they were.

Honestly, I knew I was pushing it a bit with the 10 days. I really should’ve done 8. Anyway, vacations are not generally part of my family’s life. My money is spent at doctors and on tests and medication. So this was a major thing……..reach for the stars if I didn’t get it at least I would land on the moon. In theory anyway.

So we were to return to Barbados on Tuesday December 27 in the evening. Ovulation for me would’ve been December 29. However we know how this goes I have pain before. I figured that by the time the pain really set in I would be in the air at least or at home. Its only an hour to Barbados.

Well sometime around 10 a.m on Tuesday I started getting cramps and pain in the right ovary. Not to worry, I swallowed some pain meds and went about packing. We got to the airport around 5:30 for the 7 p.m. flight and by then the pain had spread to the left ovary and into my back……..but home was in sight.

Then we heard the plane was delayed because it went from Antigua to Guadeloupe and was delayed there for a bit before taking off for Dominica. Hmmmmmm…..well my meds were in my checked luggage because I really didn’t want to be trying to explain controlled substances…….despite the fact that they were in the approved prescription packet with my name and details on. It was safer that way.

Then the flight went back to Antigua after reaching Dominica because the winds were too high to land. The flight was eventually cancelled and we had to find accommodation to spend another night.

The situation went south quickly but was worked out by God’s Grace through a brother in Dominica but I was in horrible pain by the time we got to the temporary location. I could hardly walk.
I tried not to cry but when the children went to sleep I broke. The pain was so bad. I couldn’t stand on my own. I just prayed that whatever happened I wouldn’t collapse in Dominica. The best laid plans yes!
Reality is the ER in Barbados is not a place I like because doctors don’t know enough about PCS to really help me so I couldn’t fathom an ER in another country.
Above all I prayed that the children wouldn’t see and lose it. I just wanted them to have a break without mummy being sick all the time.
I didn’t sleep that night because of the pain and the next day before going to the airport I was just in bed…..moving very slow. By the time we got to the airport the next day I was zoned out. You know that place you get to with all the pain and meds battling in your system…..kinda distanced from reality because the reality is too much to handle?
The whole experience gave me pause though. I already plan everything around my cycles as much as possible. What else is left for me to do?
I refuse to stay home out of fear. We all have a struggle………life goes on……. just sometimes this struggle is terrifying.

 

 

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Author: mypcslife

I am a Psychologist by profession, wife and mother. Living in the Caribbean island of Barbados.

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