I tossed and turned last night and as I tried to sleep I knew that today was just going to be a bad day.
I awoke nearly three hours later than usual today. That’s never a good sign, good thing I am on vacation. I lay in bed and reached for my devotional book and proceeded to do my devotion and say my prayers all the while trying to gauge the extent of the pain I was in.
I got out of bed, said good morning and realized that although everyone else was up no one had eaten or made breakfast as yet. They were waiting on me. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. This was somewhat disturbing because usually by this time everybody would’ve eaten and showered. It seemed like the pace of the day was being set by me.
I ate some fruit, took some meds and went straight back to bed, no shower, just back to bed.
I awoke in the afternoon. My husband had cooked lunch but my daughter hadn’t eaten. I got out of bed and went to get something to eat. I asked her if she was ready for lunch and she said yes she was waiting on me. Sigh!
While I ate, I observed that no one else had taken a shower either. They were all still in PJs. Not good. In one way or another everyone was looking at me. Trying to see what would happen next.
I just went back to bed. I was not in the take care of everybody, calm everybody’s fears mood today. I just needed to rest.
The scary part about this is that sometimes it seems like we set the tone for everything that happens in our family during a particular day or period when we aren’t well.
It makes me scared that they won’t function well or can’t function well when I am not well. I hope they can.
Reality is I don’t want that responsibility on my shoulders I’ve got enough.