My friend says her circle is so small that she talks to herself.
I think I am almost there. I know that as we grow and mature we have to examine the people we associate with and sometimes redefine the terms of relationships. Some friendships have to come to an end and others have to be tested and adjusted. That however, is not what I mean.
So I have pelvic congestion syndrome and the past few weeks I’ve been battling with all the new stuff- cysts , adhesions etc. So I really have no time to socialize.
“Friends” get offended when I tell them I’m tired or I can’t talk right now. When I say no I will not be coming to that or I will not be there at one event or another they act like I don’t want to be around them.
Most days I am trying to make sure my children have something to eat and at least take one shower. All this between the sleeping because I am am always soooooooooooo tired.
Trying to still do my work and make sure that I am making a positive contribution to society. Again all this between sleeping because most of my time right now, once I am at home is spent sleeping or at least in bed.
So in some ways I don’t want to be around them- this is sad and liberating all at the same time- this is my reality. I don’t know for how many more months or years, but it is.
So I lost some “friends”. Some have left and others I have said “I just can’t right now” and they have split.
I’ve also gotten stronger. I’ve grown. I’ve gained some new friends. Many I have never even met. The sisterhood is strong.
I know I am not alone. I don’t have to talk to myself. My circle is not small.