So I have these really big veins in my pelvis that are stretched and filled with blood that should have been on a continuous path to my heart but my one way door (valves) swings both ways. Basically varicose veins inside and not outside.

If I had to choose the symptom I mention most, ironically its not pain, although believe me the pain can be off the charts (I will give pain its due and give that a post all its own). The symptom I mention most is the strangest and most difficult to explain fatigue and heaviness.

Most days I awake feeling relatively ok- well days outside of ovulation and menses and a few others in between….so not most days but let say 14 out of 30. I launch into my day doing mummy, wife and work. As the day progresses I grow increasingly weary, by late morning / early afternoon I am exhausted. There is a literal heaviness in my pelvis. It feels like there is something very heavy there pulling me to the ground. This is accompanied by a dull ache, not sharp pain but like a bruise that is healing so the outside isn’t sore to touch but layers down there’s an ache. It causes me to drag along, sometimes feeling like I am just going through the day by rote. The more I stand or walk around the heavier the weight. Relief only comes when I have the opportunity to lie down.

The heavier the weight, interestingly enough, the bigger my abdomen gets. The later in the day the bigger it gets. So I have had the experience of leaving home for work appropriately attired and by afternoon my clothing is too tight. I have had the experience of clothing fitting one day and the next can’t be zipped or fastened.Sometimes its so bad that people look at me an assume I am pregnant. I smile at this because from another perspective it would be hilarious. To me its just sad and frustrating.

It is this same heaviness that saps my energy and causes me to just stay at home in bed sometimes. The effort to leave home, drive, do; is just too much on some days. My mind may be ready to go but my body says no. I have no option but to obey. It is this heaviness and fatigue that causes me to avoid all nighttime activities, by evening I am finished. I arrive home from work and have to rest before attempting to focus on anything else or do anything else.

When anyone asks what is wrong or how I am feeling I usually just say tired, because its the truth. Any explanation beyond that takes effort I don’t have and those who don’t live it have a hard time processing what I say so I do not bother.

Its somewhat difficult for me to process myself. How the incompetent valves can lead to my abdomen bloating. However at least from my lay person’s standpoint, if you try to stuff too many things in a small space that can’t hold it all, something will push out.

So fatigue, heaviness and a dull ache. This is the most prevalent symptom. The most difficult for me to handle because most of my days its there. Just one symptom of many!



Author: mypcslife

I am a Psychologist by profession, wife and mother. Living in the Caribbean island of Barbados.

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